The Boston Rules

Over the next year this newsletter will focus on the workplace and behaviors that many of us experience while we are there.  Using quotes from some famous people and from some not so famous individuals who will remain anonymous, we will begin some dialogue around workplace issues that we can all relate to.  The unique perspective of this newsletter will be that these quotes refer to “man’s (and women’s) best friend” and the way they look at life, live their lives and impact ours.  We will attempt to look at the world of work through a new set of eyes that more importantly, are attached to four legs…something which makes dogs different than us. 

Author’s Note:  Isn’t it interesting that we try and make our dogs walk on two legs and wear clothes, just like us?  What’s up with that?

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING

If you have a canine friend you are guaranteed a warm welcome and an exuberant welcome when you come in the front door after a busy day.  Heck, fido probably beats your partner or spouse to you when you come in.  We had a Boston terrorist that I used to RACE to the front door to greet my wife.  She would come in and there we would be, in a tangle on the floor, scraping to see who would be the first to greet her with a kiss. What great memories and lessons for building relationships.

And his tail…oh my gosh.  Dickens, our Boston Terrorist, has since passed away and we now have the full attention of Katie and Kaizer or K2 as we like to refer to them; two retired, Search and Rescue, German Shepherds who are trained to wait in the kitchen until we come in otherwise we would be arranging furniture everyday.  (Small dogs get away with so much, don’t they?)  But nevertheless, you can’t mistake the swish, swish, swish of their two tails as a way of happily saying hello.

Interesting though, that every time a dog wags his tail they are not necessarily happy.  Just like people you have to validate whether or not what they are saying is how they are feeling.  Non-verbals in the workplace say more than the words themselves.  Statistics show that 58% of what we say is said through our body language, 35% is our tone of voice and 7% is the actual words themselves.  So the next time someone says have a great day, watch for the nonverbal cues that should support it…a warm smile, sincere tone, direct eye contact, frontal body positioning and a gut feel that what you heard is what you saw.

The next time you are out for a walk with your four legged friend, watch the way they meet another member of Canis lupus familiaris.  They will sniff noses, move down along the side of the body and then smell each others rear end.  Nowadays we have workplace laws to protect us from people who meet and greet us like that but in the canine world it is truly acceptable. 

Surprisingly enough however, we tend to do a variation on the same theme.  Watch the next time you are at a mixer or networking event.  With body language there are also rules to meeting another member of Homo Sapiens.  When two men meet they will shake hands and subconsciously angle to the side of each other as they have their conversation.  To stay front to front is subliminally ‘felt” to be confrontational or antagonistic, jockeying for position…figuratively bumping chests.  When a man meets a woman, subconsciously the woman wants to keep the man in front of her for comfort.  If a man was to move to the side of a woman too soon in the conversation, he could create discomfort because he is now afforded a profile perspective which is personal to her. 
You will be able to tell how conversations and trust is developing by watching how we position ourselves in front of others.  Eventually if trust is built up then the positioning will be to the more intimate or trusting places.

Wagging our tails first and then validating the body language is a great workplace skill. We would do well to watch what people are saying when they are not speaking.

If you want more information on the eyebrow flash, the head tilt, the hand shake, the crossed legs, the preening move, and how these moves affect the way we work together, then call us for an outline and pricing on bringing CCG’s program It Goes Without Saying into your company.

And the next time you meet someone, look to see if they are wagging their tail before they begin wagging their tongue. 

Even the foolish man, when he keeps quiet, is taken to be wise…  Proverbs 17:28